When I turned 7, I thought long and hard about what kind of cake I wanted for my birthday and ultimately decided on a cookie cake. This was serious business, by the way. Not a decision I took lightly. But in the end, I love cookies and I love cake. Put them together and it's a sweet-treat dream come true.
We picked up the cookie cake from a local bakery and I proudly held it on my lap the entire ride home, as I plotted my sharing strategy.
"Love you, but only one piece please."
Yeah, that sounds good. I like that. That's what I'll tell my mom and sister. HA. I rehearsed it in my head. Smiling ear to ear.
Once we got home, my mom offered to carry the cake inside for me. Um, no way mom! It's my cake. I'm like Kate Winslet in Titanic. I'll never let go.
As I get out of the car, carrying the cookie cake box bigger than I am, I shout to my sister, "Hey, Tiffany. I hope I don't drop it." So funny. I had jokes. It was funny... right?!
Oh god. OH MY GOD. WHAT IF I ACTUALLY DROP IT?! I CAN'T DROP IT. BUT IT'S SO HEAVY. AND SO BIG. I CAN FEEL IT SLIPPING.
Covering my fear with a smile, I kept walking. I kept hanging on. Then suddenly...
S P L A T
My beloved cookie cake flew out of my little hands and onto the concrete ground. But it wasn't because it slipped from my hands. I tripped over the steps that lead to the door. You know, the same porch steps that I WALK UP AND DOWN EVERYDAY AND HAVE NEVER ONCE TRIPPED ON.
My mom, sister and I all stood in silence; eyes wide, mouths open. Had we just seen a dead body?
NO, WE JUST SAW THE MOST MAGICAL, DELICIOUS, PRECIOUS EDIBLE ITEM KNOWN TO MAN VANISH BEFORE OUR EYES!
I cried. I threw a fit. I dramatically fell to the ground and acted like a fool.
(So pretty much the same reaction I would have now as an adult.)
Then I picked myself up and ate ice cream. And although ice cream makes almost everything better, I still couldn't let it go.
That night I laid restless. How weird that I was just thinking about how afraid I was of dropping the cookie cake and a few seconds later, I dropped it?!
Did I make that happen? Maybe I attracted it to myself because I was thinking it? The wheels spinning in my 7-year-old head.
I'm still not quite sure how the universe works, but I know that your thoughts are powerful. I know that we should choose them wisely. And I know that I won't be imagining me dropping another cookie cake.
Because if what we fear, we create... then perhaps, we should be fearless?
Yup, sounds good to me.
And that's how the cookie crumbles (or doesn't crumble in this case).